Do Not Refuse, Twice or Otherwise

Dear Madam,

I was not surprised that you refused to accept my drawing of a spider as payment as per our agreement. Initially, I believed this was because you were unable to ascertain the artistic merit of such an object due to your own deprived upbringing, to which I remonstrated by decapitating the little fellow that sent the drawing back to me. Alas, tis was then that I noticed I had utterly misrepresented the spider with a tail, making you think it was a scorpion and not a spider, even though it did not have pincers. Since it is presumed that there are possibly scorpions out there in your beautiful lands without pincers, I can only make up for this error by bestowing upon you not only with a corrected drawing of a spider, but also of a scorpion with its pincers by means of recompense. 

Should you wish to return these drawings as well, I would suggest that your messengers be of the less waily, gibbering variety, as the previous one caused an awful ruckus well beyond his stature. I understand that good messengers are hard to come by these days, especially the non-waily, non-gibbering types, so I will not mind if only one messenger returned both drawings, so long as he a bit quieter. This of course makes the awful assumption that you would fail to appreciate not just a corrected drawing, but also an entirely new piece of art which shall not require correction; an assumption I’m sure is somewhat misplaced.
I look forward to doing business with you again.

Sincerely,
Ikoma Satoru, experienced.
Turquoise Champion

p.s. also included is a bill for laundry charges, as your messenger had rather inconsiderately sprayed blood all over my favourite kimono.

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About bayushibao

I catch evil magic samurai for a living. Sometimes I cook spaghetti and fried rice instead. This confuses the eta. They make me laugh.

Posted on January 29, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. The blog needs a ‘Like’ button somewhere 😛

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